I used to be full of life and ready for anything. I was a stay-at-home mom who absolutely loved being home with my three kids and looked forward to decorating for every holiday. I would frequent craft fairs, picking out the perfect home décor and get excited when my kids would beg me to put up one more ornament on the tree or hide one more egg for Easter. I looked forward to my husband coming home from work and enjoying the cozy atmosphere of the life we built. Life was good and I had a lot of spark back then.
Over the years since my divorce, I realized that my spark has slowly faded and never fully come back. Hopes and dreams that never got to be lived just kind of stayed in my heart with nowhere to go. I realized four hard years had passed when I told my sister I just didn’t have the same ‘spark’ in me anymore and she said, “Actually, I think you do.” Since she said those words to me, I made a promise to myself and to my kids that I would figure out how to get the version of me that they had known their whole lives and the one that I’d worked so hard to get.
Here's how you can get your spark back in 2024:
Set some goals using the S.M.A.R.T. goals technique. Be specific with what you want your goal to be. Write down the who, what, when, where, and why. Your goal should be measurable. If working and getting healthy is something you want to do, commit to going to the gym a certain number of days each week and at set times. Your goals should be achievable, which means they should be something realistic to you. If you’re not a marathon runner but tell yourself you’re going to run a marathon in a month, you may not be setting a realistic goal. Instead, choose something that is obtainable and makes sense. Your goal should be relevant. What is something in your life that you want to do right now? Does it make sense for the season of life you’re in? Lastly, make sure your goal is time-based. Give yourself a deadline and stick to it.
Purchase a brand-new journal and write down all your thoughts and feelings. If journaling isn’t your thing, still buy one and do ‘brain dumps’ where you scribble down whatever thoughts come up. It can be words or drawings. It doesn’t have to make sense to anyone but you. If you love to journal, consider adding some magazine cut-outs to add dimension to your writing. Pick a few hours at night or over the weekend where you can sit and cut out different quotes and pictures that resonate with you. Glue them onto the pages of your journal and take inventory of how you feel.
Arrange a time to pamper yourself with a spa day. I go to Pilates once a week, do yoga a few times a month, and schedule a massage once a month. I try to schedule this weeks in advance so I have something to look forward to. When the day (s) comes, I feel so valued and worthy of being happy that it helps give me an extra pep in my step. Not to mention, I feel very relaxed and taken care of when I am intentional about scheduling body work.
Reach out to friends and family to help stay in community with others. Being in the presence of those who love you and care deeply about you is a great reminder of what makes you special. I know that whenever I plan a girls’ weekend, I have the best time reconnecting, and I feel full of life when it’s time to head home. There’s something about being with friends that is good for the soul.
Keep checking things off your bucket list. Bucket lists are a necessary growth tool for staying accountable to your hopes and dreams. If you don’t have one or haven’t updated yours in a long time, take some time after reading this article to get back on track with your future planning. My bucket list is continually changing because I’m consistently knocking things off while adding new things that I want to try. My most recent addition has been to learn how to crochet. I taught myself how to cross-stitch and thought it'd be fun to try something new.
It’s never too late to get your spark back…you just have to be open to doing some work on your end to open yourself up to new opportunities. You’ll never regret making personal growth a priority so make this New Year your time to shine.
Meagan Ruffing is a parenting journalist and mental health therapist living in northwest Arkansas. She’s currently working on her PhD degree which came from her bucket list.