We're only three months in with Violet and I just cannot keep track of where the time is going. One minute we're in the labor and delivery room and the next we're signing her up for daycare. Yeah, daycare, already! Losing sleep and time is one problem. Now it's the other thing we've been panicking about before Violet was even born and it was happening sooner than we had liked.
With Andrea and myself both working full-time jobs, Violet would have to be enrolled in daycare full-time. We were okay with her going; it was the anxiety of having to share her for eight hours a day that was getting us down.
Andrea was able to take three months of maternity leave, which was excellent for her bonding time with the baby. But after starting a new job, I was only able to take a week off work myself, and seven days didn’t feel like nearly enough. There was a part of me that felt like I was missing out, while mom and baby were getting to know each other every day.
When we started shopping around for a daycare we had a pretty good idea of what we were looking for. We wanted a place that was professional, had a great local reputation, emphasized education, but most of all, we were looking for a daycare to make a good first impression on us. We mainly wanted peace of mind, knowing that when she was out of our hands, she would be well taken care of.
After researching a few different daycares online and talking to a few friends, we found a wonderful little place right in our neighborhood and set up an appointment right away.
On the day of our appointment, we were nervous about what we were in for. After all, daycare is the beginning of a long journey in schooling for Violet, so we wanted to make sure that we were starting her off on the right foot. And on top of that, all of this was in the midst of COVID, which made the idea of Violet spending the day outside of her house a little nerve-wracking. But after our meet and greet, and a tour of the “newborn room,” we immediately fell in love with the establishment. The staff were friendly, knowledgeable, and made us feel comfortable about leaving our baby there.
We were told that right from Violet’s very first day, she would be introduced into a curriculum that would help her develop skills that she would carry with her for the rest of her life; such as confidence, creativity, and critical-thinking skills. But no matter how comfortable we felt there, saying goodbye that first, third, or even fifth time, would be extremely difficult for us.
With her first day getting closer, we weren't exactly ready to say goodbye to her for five days a week. Handing our almost three-month-old daughter off into the hands of what felt like strangers, not only felt too soon, but it felt wrong. Plus, we were dreading that inevitable first-day drop off.
Her first day was on a Wednesday morning, and after we arrived and parked the car, we had the slightest bit of hesitation to get out and walk through the front door. Naturally, I wanted to be the strong one that day, as I knew Andrea wasn’t going to take this easily but she already cried herself out back at home, where for a moment she was almost inconsolable.
Inside, we were greeted by one of Violet’s wonderful caretakers and she couldn’t have been more patient with us as we struggled to say goodbye. She told us to take all the time we needed. We only stayed for about five minutes, which felt like just a few seconds.
After we said goodbye and started to walk away, I thought to myself, “So this is where it begins” — the start of many years of dropping my daughter off at school and having to wait patiently to see her again.
But let me tell you about the part when I get to pick her up. I walk through the door of her newborn room and I get to see her beautiful face. She's then handed over to me, where I hug and hold her so close, as if it was the first day she was born. I can’t explain the love I feel every time I get to do this. It’s worth the part where I have to say goodbye in the morning.
Richard De Fino, a freelance writer by night, first became a father at age 34. After losing his first-born son Louis, at birth, he was determined to keep his memory alive the best way he knew how; through words. Now, with the birth of his daughter Violet, he plans on continuing to share his fatherhood journey each month with WNY Family readers.