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Parenting teenagers can feel like riding a roller coaster. One moment, they’re cracking jokes at the dinner table, the next, they’re slamming doors because you asked them about homework. With so many highs and lows, it’s easy to feel like gratitude is the last thing on their radar. But here’s the good news: gratitude isn’t just a personality trait. It’s a skill that can be practiced and strengthened over time.
Research shows that grateful teens are often happier, more resilient, and even better equipped to handle stress. They notice the good in their lives instead of always focusing on what they’re missing. And while it doesn’t happen overnight, with patience and a little creativity, you can help your teen develop a gratitude habit that sticks.
Here are some practical ways to weave gratitude into everyday life with your teen.
1. MODEL GRATITUDE IN EVERYDAY LIFE
Teens may roll their eyes at lectures, but they notice how you live. Show gratitude in simple, visible ways. Thank your spouse for making dinner, wave to the bus driver, or tell your teen you appreciated it when they unloaded the dishwasher without being asked.
You can also share what you’re thankful for out loud: “I’m so glad the sun is shining today—it makes me feel happier,” or “That soup really hit the spot.” These small comments make gratitude feel normal and doable, not forced.
2. ENCOURAGE A GRATITUDE JOURNAL OR LIST
Suggest that your teen jot down one or two things they’re grateful for each day. Keep it low-pressure: a notebook, the Notes app on their phone, or even sticky notes on their mirror. At the end of the week, you can invite them (without pushing!) to reflect on what they wrote.
If they’re resistant, try making it a family activity by using a shared “gratitude jar” where everyone drops in slips of paper or by keeping a running gratitude list on the fridge. Reading them together at the end of the month can be surprisingly powerful.
3. SHIFT THE FOCUS AWAY FROM “STUFF”
Teens live in a world of constant advertising, peer pressure, and TikTok trends. It’s easy for them to think happiness equals having the latest gadget or brand-name sneakers. You can help by drawing a line between wants and needs.
Instead of buying every little thing on demand, encourage them to save for items they want or earn them through chores. When teens invest time or effort into something, they tend to value it more and realize that happiness isn’t found in endless shopping bags.
4. VOLUNTEER TOGETHER AS A FAMILY
Serving others is one of the most effective ways to nurture gratitude. Look for opportunities that match your teen’s interests. Consider things like helping at an animal shelter, running a 5K for charity, or packing food boxes at a local pantry.
Volunteering provides perspective. Teens see firsthand that not everyone has the same opportunities they do, and they also experience the joy of making a difference. It’s a win-win: they help others while also learning to appreciate what they have.
5. CHOOSE EXPERIENCES OVER THINGS
While gifts are fun, shared experiences are the ones that become stories your kids will retell years later. A family hike, game night, or day trip can mean more than another piece of clothing. These moments build connection, and connection fuels gratitude.
As teens grow older, involve them in planning experiences. Let them choose the restaurant for a family dinner, the playlist for a road trip, or the board game for the night. When they feel like they had a hand in shaping the memory, they’ll appreciate it even more.
6. NOTICE—AND NAME—THEIR KINDNESS
When your teen thanks a teacher, helps a sibling, or texts a friend to check in, acknowledge it. You don’t have to make a big deal. Just offering a simple, “I noticed you helped your sister with her math homework. That was thoughtful,” goes a long way.
Even if they shrug it off, your words plant a seed. Over time, they’ll start to see kindness and gratitude as part of their identity.
7. PRAISE EFFORT, NOT PERFECTION
Teen years come with pressure from school, sports, and even social media. Gratitude grows when teens know they’re valued for who they are, not just for their achievements.
Instead of focusing only on results, show appreciation for their effort: “I love how hard you worked on that project,” or “Thanks for helping clean up, even though it wasn’t your mess.” Gratitude for effort teaches resilience and self-worth, even when life doesn’t go perfectly.
BE CONSISTENT AND PATIENT
Gratitude might not always come naturally to teens who are caught up in their own busy, sometimes dramatic world. But the seeds you plant now matter. With small, steady reminders and practices, you’re helping them build a life skill that will serve them long after curfews and college applications.
The truth is, gratitude changes the lens through which teens view the world. It reminds them that joy can be found in little things—a warm meal, a loyal friend, a parent who shows up and keeps trying. And as they grow into young adults, they’ll carry that perspective with them, helping them not only survive but thrive.
Rebecca Hastings is a former elementary teacher who traded the classroom for writing when she stayed home with her three children. Passionate about authenticity, faith, and family, you can find her at RebeccaHastings.net and on Amazon. In real life, she can often be found typing words, driving her kids places, or wherever there is chocolate.