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It’s a typical weeknight. Dinner is over, the dishes are piling up, and a strange quiet fills the living room. It’s not the peaceful quiet of resting; it’s the focused hum of everyone staring at their brightly lit devices. You’re quickly checking work emails. Your older child is furiously texting friends. Your youngest is lost in a video game. We are all here, physically close, yet our minds are spread out across the digital universe.
We’ve all experienced this. As parents today, we often feel like we have to choose between two extremes regarding technology: either it’s totally good or entirely bad. We get obsessed with tracking “screen time,” setting strict limits and feeling terrible when we go over them. But focusing only on minutes doesn’t solve the real problem. The issue isn’t just how long we use screens; it’s the digital clutter that breaks our focus and weakens our family connections.
To take back our family time, we need to move past simple time limits and adopt a strategy called “digital minimalism.” This doesn’t mean getting rid of all technology. It means purposely removing the low value digital noise so we have space for what truly matters: genuine connection, being creative, and resting deeply.
CHANGING HOW WE VIEW TECHNOLOGY
The first step in using technology less is to change the way we think about it. We need to stop treating all screen use as the same. Think about food: 100 calories of healthy vegetables affects your body differently than 100 calories of candy. The same rule applies to our digital habits.
HighValue Technology Use: This is tech that supports our goals and values. Examples include a family movie night, video calling grandparents who live far away, or your child using an app to learn a new skill like coding.
LowValue Technology Use: This is the aimless scrolling through social media, reading non-stop depressing news (“doom scrolling”), or letting autoplaying videos keep our kids passive and unengaged.
Digital minimalism asks us to keep the high value tech and get rid of the low value noise. We must ask ourselves this key question: Does this app, game, or device add real value to our family life, or is it simply stealing our attention? By seeing the difference, we can stop simply policing minutes and start choosing better experiences.
THE BIG DIGITAL CLEANUP
Once we know what the clutter is, it’s time to clean house. Device makers use clever design tricks—like bright colors and random rewards—to make apps addictive. To fight back, we need to make our devices less distracting.
Check Notifications: Go through all your notifications and turn off any that don’t come from an actual person. You don't need an instant alert that a new podcast is out or a game has a special offer. These tiny interruptions pull our minds away from the present moment.
Delete Apps: Think about checking social media only on a computer. This extra step (called friction) can stop the unconscious habit of pulling out your phone every time you stop or have a quiet moment. For your kids, keep apps that encourage creation (like drawing or musicmaking) and delete the games designed just to keep them endlessly watching ads.
SETTING TECHFREE SPACES AND ROUTINES
One of the best ways to reduce feeling overwhelmed by technology is to set up clear physical and time boundaries. We need places in our homes and certain times of the day that are strictly tech-free.
The Dinner Table: Make the dinner table a sacred, no-phone zone. This is often the only time families gather to talk. Even if a phone is turned over on the table, studies show it makes people have less meaningful conversations. Leave all phones in another room.
The Bedroom: Screens mess up our sleep cycles due to the blue light they emit, and the temptation to scroll late at night is too strong. Create a main “charging station” in a shared space like the kitchen or hallway. All devices go there to “sleep” an hour before bedtime. This ritual improves sleep and signals that the day’s digital demands are over.
BE THE ROLE MODEL YOU WANT TO SEE
This part is often the hardest. We can’t expect our children to have a healthy relationship with technology if we are always glued to our own devices. Kids learn by watching us. If they see us checking work emails during their sports game or scrolling through social media while they are telling a story, they learn that the phone is more important than the person in front of them.
To handle this, try “narrating your tech use.” When you pick up your phone in front of your child, simply say aloud what you are doing: “I’m quickly checking the bus schedule,” or “I’m sending a fast text to a neighbor about the meeting.”
This simple act helps in two ways: it makes you stop and think before aimless scrolling, and it teaches your children that the phone is a specific tool for a task, not something we rely on for constant entertainment.
FILLING THE EMPTY SPACE WITH QUALITY TIME
When you remove the digital clutter, you or your children might feel something uncomfortable: boredom. In our hyperconnected world, we’ve forgotten how to be bored, but boredom is where creativity and self-discovery begin.
Digital minimalism isn’t just about taking things away; it’s about adding better things back in. We must replace passive screen time with active, high-quality leisure. This takes more effort than just flipping on the TV, but the rewards are much greater.
- Keep your home stocked with nondigital options. Make sure board games are easy to access, art supplies are out on the table, and books are everywhere.
- Get outdoors. A walk in a park or spending time outside engages your senses in ways a screen never can. I know, I know…it’s winter right now. The days that aren’t frigid are still worth getting outdoors on.
You will probably hear “I’m bored!” when the screens go off. Instead of rushing to solve their boredom, encourage them. Say, “It’s okay to be bored. I wonder what you will create to do next.” Eventually, their brains will stop craving the instant gratification of the screen and start engaging with the real world around them.
THE LONG-TERM GOAL OF CONNECTION
Adopting digital minimalism is not a quick fix; it is a constant effort. There will be days when you are too tired, and the iPad is the only way you can get dinner cooked. There will be times when you find yourself mindlessly scrolling again. That is fine.
The goal is not to be perfect. The goal is to be intentional. We are trying to create a family culture where technology works for us, not the other way around. We want to raise kids who can make eye contact, who can handle their own thoughts, and who value real experiences over online approval.
By cleaning out the digital clutter, we make room for the real, complex, and wonderful reality of family life. We are trading the shallow connections of likes and shares for the deep, lasting connection of shared laughter, full attention, and simply being present with each other. In a world constantly fighting for our attention, giving our full attention to our family is the most important and loving thing we can do.
Mike Daugherty is a husband, father of three young children, author, speaker, Google Innovator, and possible Starbucks addict. He is a certified educational technology leader who has served in a variety of roles through his twenty-year career in public education. Currently, Mike is the Assistant Superintendent of Innovation, Technology, and Communications for the Chagrin Falls Exempted Village School district in Northeast Ohio. As an IT director he has developed creative, well thought out solutions that positively impact teaching and learning.